The TruGreen Man

Earlier this week I decided to move to the dining room window while I work, to take advantage of a particularly warm looking sunbeam that comes through it every morning. (It may be spring, I guess, but my office seems to trap cold air.) So anyway, while I've been basking in the sun and working at the same time, I've felt a little like Rachel in Anne of Green Gables sitting in my window and watching over the neighborhood.

I've been noticing that a LOT of people walk up and down our road during the day, which surprised me, because depending on which way you turn at our driveway, the road is either a dead end or a circle...I'm not sure where all these people are going. Today I saw a man in tan pants and a green polo shirt walking up the hill, and I looked over at him, but tried not to stare (Rachel is not my favorite character in Anne of Green Gables). In taking periodic sideways glances at this guy, I finally noticed that he was staring at ME! After standing in the middle of the road for a minute or two, looking towards my house, he started walking towards the driveway!

"Oh no," I thought, "Now I'm going to have to talk to him."

Knock Knock Knock

"WOOF!" Tick tick tick tick tick

(that was Thunder running to the door)

Sniff sniff sniff sniff sniffsniffsniffsniff: Thunder's nose sticks out as I crack the door open. "Hello?"

"Uh, I'm the TruGreen representative for this area," he said. I looked down at the fliers he was carrying. "Oh! Uh, here ya go!" he handed me an enormous green flier with an image of perfectly trimmed blades of grass. I looked at it for a few seconds and seemed to gather himself together. "Are you the owner of the house?!" he demanded.

"Yes," I responded.

"How do you treat your lawn?"

I looked around at our overgrown grass, which I've been known to consider the bane of my existence, and noticed a few dandelions poking up here and there, violets sprouting all over the place. "Um, we just mow it." I said.

"Well!" he said "TruGreen offers lots of solutions for yards."

"Oh?" I tried to sound encouraging.

"Yes, for instance, dandelions, crab grass, we have lots of weed control. We can make your lawn look more like a golf course!" I could see terror in his eyes, and I could tell (from personal experience) that his mouth had gone dry and he was having troubles moving his tongue. It was like watching myself go on a sales call. Uncanny. I couldn't help feel sorry for him. But I do love my violets, they're my favorite afterall, and I'm not going to let some dude in trousers and a green shirt kill them.

"Hmmm," my internal struggle roared through my vocal chords.

The poor guy. I guess he could have figured out by looking at my yard that we don't use any kind of weed killer, but he didn't, and he seemed to truly think I needed help. Obviously, my lawn needs assistance:

But look at all the flowers! Along with exploring creeks and building forts, playing with mud and all sorts of other abnormal things, Little Joanna wanted nothing more than for her yard to be a meadow full of wildflowers. I'm pretty sure that this is as close as I'm going to get. Look at the violets!

But the TruGreen man can't know that. He sees probably what my neighbors and my uncle Fred would see: a lawn in serious need of an overhaul. While I've been ruminating about dandelions being giant suns, violets being my favorite flower, and grass the ugliest weed in existence, the TruGreen man has been staring at me silently. When I finally snapped back to reality, he had a panicked look on his face. "Well, have a good day!" he said, turned around, and walked away.

Poor feller, he seemed kind of new to the job. Maybe I was even his first call! If so, I let him down tremendously. I should have encouraged him a bit more, but I didn't want to antagonize him and tell him that I like my dandelions and violets:

How can anyone say no to this mass of white flowers in their lawn? I don't even know what they are, and honestly they are kind of ugly. But they are flowers, and I use them as an excuse not to mow the lawn.